I Used to Kick My Legs I used to kick my legs exactly like Esther Williams I waved at the camera underwater and had secret longings under my swimsuit I used to kick my legs like Esther Williams I was willful and full of vigor I had wild nights in Havana with men who tried to keep me locked up in dark acrid rooms with smoke and heavy drapes These days I mostly keep to myself, keep my swimwear hanging in my closet protected in plastic, my days spent watching people buy fruit at the markets, or stealing kisses under the awnings ©Melanie Browne