"Overcome" by Larissa Monique Hauck
ode to this grey sky by BEE LB
o how i hate you. o how i wish
you would break without spilling
over. though i’d take your torrential
spill, i’d prefer sun. though i waste the
days of sun in stillness, i prefer them.
o hesitant light, please try harder.
o slow clouds, please grow heavy
with rain or else dissipate. i am
warm enough without you
blanketing the sky.
o trees, grey in distance and bare still
in may, won’t you grow? i know
the cold shocked you, i know your buds
wilted, i know you are trying
as hard as you can.
o geese startled to air, won’t you take me with you?
i too would like to stretch my body to its full width,
leave behind this small sad world, take instead to the
endlessly sad sky. do you know when rain is coming,
or are you surprised by the first fat drop?
o rain, please hurry. the sooner you come the sooner
you can go. i know i’m rushing through everything
to get to the next better thing and i know i will rush
through the next better thing in search of the best
thing i can never find. i can’t help myself. or else i won’t.
o grey sky, please find within you a deeper pigment.
even your blue now is only smoke. the grass turned
green when i wasn’t looking, but the trees remain bare
and the sky remains grey and even the lake is this sad
sickly green. o world, won’t you change for me
just this once? won’t you paint for me a scene worth living in?
won’t you reach your earthly fingers into me and pull out this
sorrow, replace it with anything else? if only you’d stop reflecting
me i could stop seeing myself everywhere i turn. my misery spread
across everything in sight but not so far as to be pulled completely out.
please tell me, what is the point?
you would break without spilling
over. though i’d take your torrential
spill, i’d prefer sun. though i waste the
days of sun in stillness, i prefer them.
o hesitant light, please try harder.
o slow clouds, please grow heavy
with rain or else dissipate. i am
warm enough without you
blanketing the sky.
o trees, grey in distance and bare still
in may, won’t you grow? i know
the cold shocked you, i know your buds
wilted, i know you are trying
as hard as you can.
o geese startled to air, won’t you take me with you?
i too would like to stretch my body to its full width,
leave behind this small sad world, take instead to the
endlessly sad sky. do you know when rain is coming,
or are you surprised by the first fat drop?
o rain, please hurry. the sooner you come the sooner
you can go. i know i’m rushing through everything
to get to the next better thing and i know i will rush
through the next better thing in search of the best
thing i can never find. i can’t help myself. or else i won’t.
o grey sky, please find within you a deeper pigment.
even your blue now is only smoke. the grass turned
green when i wasn’t looking, but the trees remain bare
and the sky remains grey and even the lake is this sad
sickly green. o world, won’t you change for me
just this once? won’t you paint for me a scene worth living in?
won’t you reach your earthly fingers into me and pull out this
sorrow, replace it with anything else? if only you’d stop reflecting
me i could stop seeing myself everywhere i turn. my misery spread
across everything in sight but not so far as to be pulled completely out.
please tell me, what is the point?
BEE LB is an array of letters, bound to impulse; a writer creating delicate connections. they have been published in Revolute Lit, Roanoke Review, and Third Iris, among others. they are the 2022 winner of the Bea Gonzalez Prize for Poetry. their portfolio can be found at twinbrights.carrd.co
Larissa Monique Hauck is a queer visual artist who graduated from the Alberta University of the Arts in 2014, where she received a BFA with Distinction. Her artwork has been featured in multiple regional and national group exhibitions as well as a growing number of international exhibitions. She has been selected for inclusion in events such as Nextfest 2018 (Edmonton, AB), Nuit Rose 2016 (Toronto, ON), and the 9th Annual New York City Poetry Festival 2019 (New York, US). Her drawings and paintings have also been featured in publications such as Creative Quarterly (US), Wotisart Magazine (UK), Minerva Rising (US), and various others.
