Masquerade by A. Molotkov
Yesterday I attended a strange masquerade: everyone pretended to be inanimate objects. One may question the meaning of this. We found out that the key point was to share the company of likeminded individuals without having to engage in conversation.
My friend dressed up as a table and stood there on all fours. At first I envied his solemn immobility and the dignity with which he ignored every plate or wine glass placed upon his surface. But eventually I felt sorry for him: imagine the weight he had to bear when guests dressed up as small objects chose to perch themselves on his back. A fairly strange phenomenon was observed: a static hum was heard in the room, a hum whose center was located, needless to say, on the table surface…It is difficult to imagine a discussion that could have taken place between an unfinished sandwich, a shot of vodka, and a fork – only at a masquerade of this type will you ever hear such a discourse. Due to the lack of vocal chords in most of those present, it was impossible to distinguish individual words, but the collective state of mind could be judged by the frequency spectrum of the hum produced by everyone in attendance.
My daughter and her fiancé, who are madly in love with each other, dressed up as an old lamp, whose stand parodied one of Rodin’s statues. This way they were able to spend the entire night in each other’s embrace, which to some puritan guests seemed inappropriate. Personally, I don't find it to be a problem. An opinion was also expressed that a single costume shared by two people is against the rules, but this criticism failed to gain any support.
Of course, there were also attempts to use costumes of a rather inappropriate quality. By a unanimous decision the unfortunate jokers were expelled from the party – with the right to return in another costume.
My wife, to whom even the thought of spending several hours in silence seemed intolerable, dressed up as a boom box and tortured everyone with useless chat, until our nephew, dressed up as a cassette tape, had the inspiration to get out.
I had heard about the masquerade in advance. I had plenty of time to think about my costume. It was that of a light fixture. Being a source of light had always inspired me. In addition, I thought that I would have a better view from above. This turned out to be true. Besides the need to spend all night hanging on a hook, my choice was perfect.
My mother-in-law made my hanging difficult. Customarily disregarding the rules, she dressed up as a moth and kept throwing herself at my face. My wife is sometimes tiresome, but my mother-in-law – she is a very unpleasant woman, and I’m not afraid to say so. For instance, she gives me grief anytime I come into the house without taking my shoes off.
But this is an entirely different story.
A. Molotkov is a writer, composer, filmmaker and visual artist, and a co-founder of the Inflectionist poetry movement (Inflectionism.com). Molotkov is the author of several novels, short story and poetry collections. In February 2010, he spearheaded a one hour poetry and music performance "Love Outlives Us" presented by the Show and Tell Gallery in Portland, OR and repeated on KBOO in June.
My friend dressed up as a table and stood there on all fours. At first I envied his solemn immobility and the dignity with which he ignored every plate or wine glass placed upon his surface. But eventually I felt sorry for him: imagine the weight he had to bear when guests dressed up as small objects chose to perch themselves on his back. A fairly strange phenomenon was observed: a static hum was heard in the room, a hum whose center was located, needless to say, on the table surface…It is difficult to imagine a discussion that could have taken place between an unfinished sandwich, a shot of vodka, and a fork – only at a masquerade of this type will you ever hear such a discourse. Due to the lack of vocal chords in most of those present, it was impossible to distinguish individual words, but the collective state of mind could be judged by the frequency spectrum of the hum produced by everyone in attendance.
My daughter and her fiancé, who are madly in love with each other, dressed up as an old lamp, whose stand parodied one of Rodin’s statues. This way they were able to spend the entire night in each other’s embrace, which to some puritan guests seemed inappropriate. Personally, I don't find it to be a problem. An opinion was also expressed that a single costume shared by two people is against the rules, but this criticism failed to gain any support.
Of course, there were also attempts to use costumes of a rather inappropriate quality. By a unanimous decision the unfortunate jokers were expelled from the party – with the right to return in another costume.
My wife, to whom even the thought of spending several hours in silence seemed intolerable, dressed up as a boom box and tortured everyone with useless chat, until our nephew, dressed up as a cassette tape, had the inspiration to get out.
I had heard about the masquerade in advance. I had plenty of time to think about my costume. It was that of a light fixture. Being a source of light had always inspired me. In addition, I thought that I would have a better view from above. This turned out to be true. Besides the need to spend all night hanging on a hook, my choice was perfect.
My mother-in-law made my hanging difficult. Customarily disregarding the rules, she dressed up as a moth and kept throwing herself at my face. My wife is sometimes tiresome, but my mother-in-law – she is a very unpleasant woman, and I’m not afraid to say so. For instance, she gives me grief anytime I come into the house without taking my shoes off.
But this is an entirely different story.
A. Molotkov is a writer, composer, filmmaker and visual artist, and a co-founder of the Inflectionist poetry movement (Inflectionism.com). Molotkov is the author of several novels, short story and poetry collections. In February 2010, he spearheaded a one hour poetry and music performance "Love Outlives Us" presented by the Show and Tell Gallery in Portland, OR and repeated on KBOO in June.
