For All the Times That Might Have Been the Last Time by Marian Veverka
(Betsy)
The thunder had diminished to a low mutter and
You said “I think the rain is over” and you
Picked up your jacket and I watched your arms
As they slid into the sleeves and I said
“I’ll walk out with you.”
Or maybe I didn’t say it out loud, but it
Was what I thought.
So we walked together to the driveway
And I watched as you brushed away
Some leaves and twigs that had
Fallen on your windshield and
The air still smelled like rain, there
Were puddles everywhere --I think
Our feet got wet, I’m not sure
Because I didn’t know that this would be
The last time.
I mean, I knew you were upset and I was,
Too, but I didn’t cry, not then, I didn’t
Want to cause a scene and I thought we could
Talk about it later on maybe tomorrow or some
Other time, because I believed that
There would always be more time. So
You slid into the drivers seat and closed
The door and I leaned over to kiss you through
The window but it was closed. And you turned
On the ignition and the lights and began to
Back out of the drive and all I could do was
Wave and call “Good-bye! Good-bye!”
When you turned into the road, your tail
Lights left narrow streaks of red on the
Wet pavement and I waved again as you
Picked up speed
“Good-bye, good-bye”
I remember the sound of the water running down
The drain from the eaves and the splashing of
Other cars as they drove past and I took deep
Breaths because the air was fresh and smelled of water
And I didn’t want to cry.
(Betsy)
The thunder had diminished to a low mutter and
You said “I think the rain is over” and you
Picked up your jacket and I watched your arms
As they slid into the sleeves and I said
“I’ll walk out with you.”
Or maybe I didn’t say it out loud, but it
Was what I thought.
So we walked together to the driveway
And I watched as you brushed away
Some leaves and twigs that had
Fallen on your windshield and
The air still smelled like rain, there
Were puddles everywhere --I think
Our feet got wet, I’m not sure
Because I didn’t know that this would be
The last time.
I mean, I knew you were upset and I was,
Too, but I didn’t cry, not then, I didn’t
Want to cause a scene and I thought we could
Talk about it later on maybe tomorrow or some
Other time, because I believed that
There would always be more time. So
You slid into the drivers seat and closed
The door and I leaned over to kiss you through
The window but it was closed. And you turned
On the ignition and the lights and began to
Back out of the drive and all I could do was
Wave and call “Good-bye! Good-bye!”
When you turned into the road, your tail
Lights left narrow streaks of red on the
Wet pavement and I waved again as you
Picked up speed
“Good-bye, good-bye”
I remember the sound of the water running down
The drain from the eaves and the splashing of
Other cars as they drove past and I took deep
Breaths because the air was fresh and smelled of water
And I didn’t want to cry.
Marian spends her life on the shores of Lake Erie. Poems and “creative non-fiction” pieces published in local & “little” magazines.
